Matt

(Email Matt)

Compassion. Integrity. Trust. These three words explain everything you need to know about Matt. You may be asking, "Then why does this biography continue?". Persistence. Endurance. Resolve. Having never left a job incomplete, his commitment to task has become legendary. Now you might be asking, "Well then why didn't he list all the adjectives the first time?" Brilliance. Genius. Virtuosity. Do not be so arrogant to question those who are superior.

Social disobedience by Matt

Never a conformist, Matt courageously questioned his superiors as a youth. When he was ordered to go to his room, Matt valiantly stormed into his room and shut the door. Unbeknownst to anyone, he defiantly hung his arm out of his window, which is clearly not in his room. These acts of passive resistance would form the bedrock of the geologic mantel that our earth is made of.

To deal with the awkwardness of adolescence, Matt developed a quick wit and biting sense of humor. For instance, Matt cleverly observed before any of his peers that he always left the toilet seat up and that black people acted one way, while white people acted another. Although many of his observations went unnoticed at the time, their influence can be found throughout modern comedy.

Although Matt would like to help everyone, he realizes it is an impossible goal that interferes with his schedule. It was this sense of magnanimity that forced him to channel his feelings of universal love and affection into Boop Humor. Through Boop Humor he knows that if he can make at least one person laugh, there is a small possibility that the person might be a television executive, and that makes it all worthwhile.

Ben

(Email Ben)

A young man in his early 20's. A short man in his early heights. And a funny man in his early jokes. This is Ben.

A man who believes that running for president should never include money, corruption or democratic elections. A man who donates his time shaving kiwis for those offended by hairy fruit. A man who relates with his blind friends by blindfolding himself when driving them around.

And lastly, Ben is a man whose future is so bright that he is constantly at risk of developing skin cancer.

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